Relax!

Isn't it funny how just seeing the word relax with an exclamation point after it makes the entire idea of relaxing completely unattainable? Don't yell at me and tell me to relax! It should be more like this:

Relax...

You're getting very sleepy...(just kidding)

I don't consider myself to be a particularly high-strung or stressed-out individual, but I do get nervous. Before important phone calls, presentations, conversations — my heart beats more quickly, my breathing becomes more shallow and (twice) my lips have gone numb and my hands all a-tingle. A few months ago, just thinking about the "labor and delivery" part of this journey started me on that same path: Shifty eyes, an uncertain feeling, the realization that I have no idea or control over what lies ahead.

This is part of the reason why my exercise of choice during pregnancy has been yoga. With the help of Mamaste, the Prenatal Yoga Center and the childbirth section of my local library, I've been able to practice all-important hip-openers, sciatica cures and general meditation/relaxation exercises that have put me more at ease — honestly — about this coming Spring and my officially becoming Mom.

Because when it comes down to it, keeping your body relaxed rather than tensed during delivery is, I imagine, very helpful both mentally and physically. I don't know how my husband's going to calm his own nerves (he thinks yoga is "boring"), but I have some ideas for my own personal use.

• A "Relax" playlist. Right now I'm using the New Age XM radio channel on DirecTV for any non-DVD-accompanied yoga sessions, and I love it. It's like being at the spa. But I don't have any of that kind of music on my iPod. Do I buy a yoga (music) CD? Anyone have any suggestions? Tunes to download? Most of the music is pretty obscure, but if I'm bored in the hospital waiting to dilate I think I'd rather listen to relaxing music and rest than watch reruns of The People's Court on TV.
• Lavender-scented body cream. If I need a foot rub or a neck massage while fighting through contractions, to me there aren't many more relaxing scents than perhaps lavender and eucalyptus. Again, just the scent of lavender makes me think of hot-stone massages and the best-in-the-world post-massage shower at my favorite city spa. This should help, and it's already packed in a bag for the hospital (with only two other things so far — I'm not that organized).
• Deep breaths. I recently read in one of the free OB-office pregnancy magazines that saying or humming the "ah" sound can assist during labor, for whatever reason I can't recall. But it also said to figure out what sound works for you, and I've noticed in my yoga practice that I just can't get myself into the whole "ha" sound used in Ujjayi breathing. Each time I'm reminded to do it, I realize that I'm making an "ooh" sound. And you know what? That's fine! That's my sound. It's probably the most common one, also, the most natural reflex, so that's what I'm going with. And it works. Inhale, exhale. See? Better already.
• Prayer. Most everyone I know believes in some sort of deity, whether referred to as God, Buddha, Holy One or what have you. And one of my New Year's resolutions this year was to talk less and pray more, or, really, engage in less negative talk about others and pray for their well-being instead. But I've found now that I'm stopping more throughout the day to just pray about anything. Thanks for making that call go well; please let me pass this test; we praise you for bringing another survivor out of the wreckage in Haiti. It helps. It relaxes me. Even if you don't know where to start, try it.
• Don't worry about it. Or, better yet, don't even think about it. Yes, I'm pregnant, yes, it's amazing this miracle of life that's growing inside of me, but if I really sit back and think about that and only that 24/7, I start to go a little crazy. Endless phone calls, obsessive cleaning, frantically scribbled shopping lists, hastily gobbled French fries (part of why I'm giving up fried foods for Lent). And while putting something out of your mind sometimes results in the now-that's-all-I-can-think-about syndrome (like trying not to eat more fudge), this one actually works when combined with the steps above. For now, at least, I've made it over the neurotic hump. Everything will be fine because I have no reason to think otherwise.

This may be a lot of pregnant-lady babble for some of you, but relaxation should be part of everyone's diet and health regimen for its mind-body benefits. I'm not there yet — I still lose my patience sometimes and hope things get canceled rather than facing some of my fears — but I've noticed a marked improvement.

What do you do to relax? Any tips or tricks you'd like to share? I'd love to hear it!

Life is big

I have a confession to make.

With just about 90 days to go, I think I've already gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy. And I'm about to hit a scary number I never even fathomed I'd see on the scale, the number that, once I'd calculated about what the average woman "should" gain during a normal pregnancy, I figured I'd fit just snugly, and safely, below. Now that the number is encroaching every day more rapidly, I'm thinking I must have let myself go a bit too far.

What went wrong? (And I don't mean that in the sense of despair, it's too late, it's over; I mean it in the sense that now that I've recognized what I'll detail below, hopefully I can stop stressing about it and get on with my life.) I haven't gone on an all-McDonald's binge or rid my house of fruits and vegetables. I haven't stopped exercising. I haven't even really shunned any foods (after the treacherous first trimester) or gone craving-crazy. So maybe nothing's gone wrong; it's just the way my body's handling the pregnancy. But here's what maybe I haven't been doing, at least not as diligently (which, as you know, isn't always so diligent either!) as before.

• Counting calories. I know; who wants to do that when you're pregnant and worrying about names, cribs, scans and tests? I just couldn't keep up with it even when I was out of the first trimester and could choke down more than toast and bagels. But it would make sense that, if I did it before, I could add the permissible 300 extra calories and count them along with the rest, guaranteeing a slow and steady weight gain, nothing erratic or unhealthy.
• Ordering from the "healthy fare" section of the menu at restaurants. Again, what fun is a pregnancy if you can't enjoy a cheeseburger every once in a while? But it adds up. We've been getting takeout and eating out more than usual because we've been so busy, and I'm no longer looking for the salads and egg whites like I was before. I've resorted to steak sandwiches and French fries. Admittedly, I choose fruit for my side instead of hash browns at breakfast, and my only burger was a turkey burger — but there have been at least three steak sandwiches in there, you can be sure of that!
• Cardio, cardio, cardio. Yeah, I know. It's not like I have to do anything other than walk. But with all the good things I've heard about yoga for pregnancy, that's become my safe haven. And don't get me wrong — I can barely get through my day without it now, it calms me so and stretches out my ever-painful sciatica. But it doesn't burn the extra calories that I must be consuming. So as I finish running through my local library's prenatal section this week, the treadmill looms ahead. Good thing I have a few episodes of LOST to catch up on!
• Making healthy choices, not just cheap ones. You know all about my budget woes. So is it any wonder that last month, the first time in I don't know how long that I came in under my food budget, I was probably spilling over with the calories and fat grams? Let's just say the pork and beef I bought to test out a few slow-cooker meals weren't exactly the leanest cuts on the shelf. But they were so cheap! I couldn't resist! Now I find myself questioning again why I can't stick to my tastes and my healthy foods without going over budget each month. I swear, one day I will get it. One day it will come easily and effortlessly to me, and I will sit back and smile with baby, thinking, Remember when? as we munch on cheese from Whole Foods and those deliciously addictive little toasts they sell in the deli.

So it's not that bad. I eat the occasional scone at Starbucks on the weekends, but let's be honest: I did that before, too. And although there was that one afternoon at Taco Bell (I had a coupon, people!), it's not like I'm there every Tuesday. There was one other incident at Burger King, I have no shame in full confession, but other than that, my kitchen is still stocked with whole-grain pasta, blueberries, pineapple, broccoli and brown rice. Although it will be difficult for me to cope when that number inevitably pops up on the scale this week or next week, I'm hoping that at least from here on out I can just focus on making smart choices one by one, watch my portion size and realize that this is how my body is handling all of the major changes taking place inside right now. It's truly a beautiful, amazing and astounding thing.

After all, pregnant women shouldn't diet. So that leaves me with just the "Gourmet" part! I deserve to enjoy my zucchini in marinara and a couple tiny little chocolates after dinner tonight. And I think I will.