Are you ready???

Or, rather, Am I ready???

There will be a new sheriff in town on Tuesday when I start this experiment-slash-project, and the ideas are flowing, I'm excited/anxious/happy; it's sure to be a year to remember — that is, if I stick to my guns.

Living Oprah has given me some tips, although I'm not done reading it yet, and at the same time I hope I don't find myself feeling even more like a copy cat while I'm mopping the floors and making blue cheese & radicchio flat bread. It's really a great read, if you're interested.

But anyways, during the past few days especially I've found myself cutting corners, noting how I'll have to change in the future and wondering, of course, If I'm not doing it now, who's to say I'll do it on November 2? (Which also happens to be Election Day — somehow fitting, I think!) Example: I have these two wobbly finger nails that curve down on my left hand and it really annoys the crap out of me. As I'm reading the label on my new bottle of Hard As Nails, I'm thinking, Okay, start practicing following directions. DO two coats. WAIT until they dry in between. (Normally I'd either do one coat and call it quits or totally not wait for it to dry. But as I often say to my husband, Instructions are included for a reason.) Then, I catch myself wondering, Will my nails get stronger with a healthier diet? If not, is there a more natural way to strengthen them instead of using chemicals and flammable lacquer? (Will Google just become my best friend? I've already looked up "How often should I clean my sink" and "How often should I clean stuffed animals" because the baby has what I think is already his third cold, making me feel like a bad mom with a dirty house.)

I've started making lists (no, me???) of what I'll need to buy, like lemons and sponges for natural cleaning, and things I need to do, like replace our welcome mat and bleach my socks (wait — more chemicals — must investigate natural laundry whiteners).

Isn't this exciting? Titillating? (Just the least bit daunting?) Yes, yes and yes, but...well...I need an excuse to get my rear in gear. I've been so tense, stressed out and lacking in the exercise department lately that it hurts — everywhere — to lie flat on the floor with the baby and read books. My neck is so stiff I was actually verging on hypochondriac thinking about meningitis this morning. And my body is begging, begging for more fruits and vegetables. I've been craving an omelet with peppers and onions for I don't know how long.

So I have some trepidations, yes, but I also have plans. Places to look when I need advice. Tips I plan on using right away. Recipes waiting, workout videos cued up, notebooks at the ready for notes, scribbles and to-do lists. And — perhaps most lovely of all — I think I have a title for my project. "My Year of Unoriginal Thoughts" seemed a little self-deprecating and sad, so I've decided on the following:

Today is the Day I...

As in, Today is the day I...

1. Eat a small portion of ice cream out of a ramekin, not out of the carton (thank you, Bethenny)
2. Actually use the mouthwash my dentist recommended (read directions first!)
3. Get in 30 minutes of moderate activity (ie, cardiovascular exercise!)
4. Make a delicious dinner from the pages of Self.com
5. Stand up and take my vitamins when my vitamin reminder goes off on the computer

It may seem very anti-climactic and odd, but these are really things I need to be disciplined about. Taking care of my body, my teeth, my family — generalizing it in such a way reminds me that all of the small things add up. Yes, I wonder how SHAPE knows better than I do exactly how I should handle an argument with my husband, and I wonder how often I'll be torn between something that I just "think" I should do (or plain and simply WANT to do) versus what's normal and economical, but the challenge will be just that — a challenge — and I'm not one to back down.

And by the way, I'm not limiting myself to 5 things a day — I've come to realize that a lot of my needs are ongoing and don't necessarily take up a lot of time — but on some days that may not be the case, and being bombarded by every "should" this and "should" that could be vast and without focus if I'm not careful.

With that I'll leave you to your Halloween candy. (That all has soy in it! I won't be sneaking any chocolate next year!) Have a great weekend.

MC just can't stay out of the news

Hey y'all,

If you'll recall my recent post on an article from Marie Claire about so-called "healthy living" bloggers (does that include me?), I was singing their praises for shining a light on "The Big Six," some of the more...er...intensely "healthy living" bloggers. Yeah. Well, this time they've gone too far.

One of their writers apparently had one too many espressos the other day and rattled off some insensitive, disgusting rant about the new show Mike & Molly on CBS. Now, while I have never watched the show, I know the premise: It's about a couple who meet at Overeaters Anonymous. So, yes, they're overweight. Big deal. The writer of this article, apparently, thought it WAS a big deal (no pun intended). She went on and on about how she dislikes watching "fatties" on TV, making out, even just "walking across the room."

Ahem. Excuse me?

How much do I have to weigh, madame, to disgust you? Would you look down your nose at me now, because I still have some baby weight left to lose? Are you so insecure with your former anorexic self (this is true — and I mean no harm in saying it) that you can't even stand the sight of a size 26? A size 14? A size 8?

LEST we forget that we're not just talking about two characters on a TV screen here. Honey, they're real people too. In real life. Yes, they exist. They have feelings, and thoughts, and emotions, and problems. And while I'm going to stop myself before I say what I really want to say, I'll just direct my readers back to another post of mine a couple weeks ago on bullying, since that's what the author of the latest scandalous MC blog has been accused of, and rightly so.

If you ever find yourself being tempted, like MC author Maura Kelly, to avert your eyes the next time you see a person who is carrying a few extra pounds, whether it's me or someone morbidly obese, DON'T look down or away. Look at me. Smile at me. If you haven't seen me in a while, give me a hug.

Don't treat me, or anyone else, like we're gross; don't compare me to a drug addict; and don't write something that you'll have to apologize for later. Deal with your own issues first, or at least admit them up front, be honest and open, and think before you speak. It will save us all a world of hurt.

"The Hunger Diaries"

I'm not usually a Marie Claire reader (although I love the way Heidi Klum pronounces that), but I secretly think Victoria Beckham is hilarious, so I bought this month's issue. Boy am I glad I did! (Everything happens for a reason...)

If you haven't picked it up yet, please do. You'll be desperate to after reading this and the link I'm about to post.

There's this article, titled "The Hunger Diaries," about the "Big Six" bloggers in health and nutrition — I won't link to them out of principle, but they're known as Hangry Pants, Kath Eats, Healthy Tipping Point, Carrots 'N Cake, Graduate Meghann and Eat Live Run.

I'll admit — I used to follow them. Here and on Twitter. Then I stopped.

Why? Well, not only do I loathe people who don't follow back (although I understand it — double standard, I know — I don't keep up with who follows me, and I don't always make sure I follow back — oops, priorities — wait, is that snobbish?), but, more importantly, their lifestyles are...uh...a little too intense for me.

There are two sides to every story, however, so if you want, I'll interject here the link to the forum ABOUT said article. There. Read both sides, if you must. (I've obviously picked mine.)

I will try not to let the rant go on for too long (can't. type. fast. enough!).

"Shredded feet" from running too much and 1,110 calories a day do not a healthy lifestyle make. Yes, the occasional beer and brownie appear on the pages of their blogs. And on the flip side, I've more than divulged my eating hangups, errors, fears and embarrassments. So am I just as bad as them? Am I worse, because I often preach more than I practice? Is my idea of an experiment really just one last desperate attempt to lose those last 10 pounds? Or am I just average, with normal, everyday struggles, temptations, ups and downs, and they're superwomen? (Or insane women?) I'd love to hear your thoughts.

For those of you who don't feel like doing the research (or just don't care), these are six "extreme" (in my own words) bloggers who run 5Ks, 15Ks, marathons; they have book deals, sponsors and hold conferences. SERIOUS. But the article is basically saying that they're out there, running such conferences, taking endless pictures of their food, bordering on "obsessing" about exercise and diet all day long, and it's not sending a good message to young women out there.

I could not agree more.

That's why I wonder if I'm "just as bad as them," getting all quotation mark-happy now on you, and I've written about it before — whether it's a hobby, a love of all things food, diet and nutrition that I have, or whether it too borders on obsessive. I'd like to think the former, but this is such a hot topic on the forum at Marie Claire that I had to put this out there. I love that they wrote the article, even if it's just the jealous girl inside of me who wants my own book deal.

They can keep the conference, though. My hands and lips go numb when public speaking is involved.

Let me know what you think!

A word about bullying

Hi all,

I know you're probably thinking, What does this have to do with diet and exercise? Let me tell you.

I think it's great that everyone is jumping on the anti-bully bandwagon. Really, I do. But I think the scope of everyone's vision right now is a little, well, narrow.

I have gay friends who I love dearly. But I also have African American friends. And Asian friends. And female friends who work in primarily male offices. I know people who have been picked on for being too thin, too heavy, too tall, too short.

And I'm well out of junior high. High school. Yes, believe it or not, even college.

What I mean to say is, bullying doesn't end when you graduate school. It just becomes... discrimination. Ooh, big word, I know. But aren't the two one in the same?

Think about it. Ever seen an episode of this show? I linked you to the "You Are So Fat" episode, but there's one on breast-feeding moms, gay bashing, special needs, racism, you name it. And most of the targets are average men and women, not young boys and girls.

I do remember a time in grade school when all the mean, "bad boys" (who weren't cute, by the way — any possible relation?) were making fun of an overweight substitute teacher who they claimed was so round she was "like a balloon" that would pop with a pin. And there were the "nerds" back in high school who no one wanted to go to the dance with (who are now wealthy businessmen), the annoying lurkers in college who no one wanted to invite to the parties. But think about it again: Aren't there still people who you'd rather not spend the day with? I'm not talking in-laws. I mean the heavyset guy next to you on the plane, the cashier at the grocery store, the mom from your kid's school who chatters on endlessly (probably nervously) and pretty much just drives you crazy.

Give them a chance. Give your inner fat kid a chance. Smile at them, ask them how their day is going, tell them to keep the change. It's the least we can do.

Bullying, discrimination, young or old, please, please let's put a stop to it. This is America. It is the year 2010. We've come too far to hold on too lame ideology and hate speech. Whatever is in you that you hate, don't take it out on anyone else.

Just fix it.

Something more to say

I do realize — and think it's important to point out — that, during this experiment, I may feel torn sometimes between someone's advice and my own intuition. For example: the experts say to keep the fan on, but I think it's far too cold for that. Which leads me to another point — I'll try to limit my ramblings here to the more diet and fitness related, as usual.

I like to believe that the "experts" know more than I do. Whether that means a doctor, a plumber or another mother, however, will remain to be seen. So although I will allow intuition to figure in important issues, it's obvious that a lot of us out there could use expert advice when it comes to food, exercise and nutrition, so it probably won't do me any harm to silence my inner voice a bit (which, in the past few days, has been screaming for cookies) in this arena.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know there will be times when I'm faced with someone's recommendation or advice that just doesn't sit right with me. And deciding which way to go and facing down that determination will be part of this project, so that's okay. But this will likely be in other areas of my life, and trying to keep these pages dedicated to food and fitness will hopefully mean not having to deal with those battles but rather buckling down and doing what they say. Exercise five days a week for 30 minutes? Yes sir. Water with lemon in the morning? Okay. Fish twice a week? Well, that will be difficult because I've found that much as I try I really don't like cooking fish, but if that's what's on the menu, I'll figure something out.

(Does tuna count?)

Start date and more rules

So, I've decided to proceed with the experiment, and I'm going to start on Tuesday, November 2nd. That's the day my son (still sounds weird to hear that) will be six months old, and although I really think that if anything this experience will actually make breastfeeding better, my goal was to go six months so I feel okay with moving forward, and although a part of me feels a bit selfish, I just have to keep telling myself that the goal of this project is to actually create a happier and healthier existence for all of us; it's not just about me. Plus, I hate starting resolutions and diets on Mondays or the first of the month. It's almost too much pressure. Starting on a Tuesday, the second of the month, no less, is almost a relief before I've even begun.

That said, I do have several more rules. (See my previous post for Rule #1.) So out with it!

Rule #2: Nothing I'm advised or recommended to do will interfere with family time. (I'm hoping that some of the tips I pick up will actually be FOR the family as a unit, not just me.) That is to say that, if my husband was hoping to take a walk in the park with the two of us, for example, but I was hoping to make a batch of low-fat cinnamon rolls, family time wins. If we come across too many couple conflicts, which I'm sure we will in a year's time, well, I'll just have to find someone to advise me on how to resolve those disputes. Which leads me to...

Rule #3: Because just about everything you do can be done according to someone's advice or another person's example, my rationale will be the following — if I know I need to wash my sheets, I'll wash the sheets. But I'll remember, from an episode of The Doctors, that I need to wash and dry on the hot setting and then repeat weekly, without fail. Or, for example, if I need a natural alternative to the stinky bleach I've used in the past to kill the mold in the shower tile grout, I'll look up on line how to do it with vinegar or baking soda and I'll follow the instructions to a tee. The bottom line will mean taking a break to pause before mindlessly embarking on a task, setting an intention and completing a task as it should be done — completely and mindfully.

Rule #4: To make it not too easy on myself, I'm not just going to follow the rules when I think I need some advice and assume I'm doing everything else correctly during the day — I will, actually, set a goal of five tips and tricks to follow each day, whether that means getting in some squats while I brush my teeth or actually using the pre-brush rinse pre-brush. And on busy days, if that just means following a recipe word for word without cutting corners (a famous, ill-advised habit of mine), that's okay too. This project can't be too overwhelming, or it will never last.

Rule #5: Obviously, I won't take any advice that will cause me or my family any harm, either directly or indirectly. Goes without saying, but this even counts for things like "Oh, you should have that second piece of pie. It won't kill ya." (Okay, so that may not even count as advice. But I felt it should be said.)

Rule #6: This rule at first I had only though of in terms of exercise and meal plans, of which I'm sure to come across on almost a daily basis what with my free magazine habit (ever check out this site?), but the timing could actually apply to all things, and that is this: I will allow myself to try out a new routine or regimen once a week and then move on to the next one if so desired, if it's something that takes place or something I have to do daily. The way I see it, as long as I'm doing some sort of workout and eating right more consistently than I am now, it doesn't matter if I'm following Plan X this week and Plan Y starting next Tuesday. (This could encourage the rampant buying of new and old diet books, a penchant of mine as you know, but like I've said before, money is going to figure into this somehow too, so there will be a cap on that.) If it's something I have to do weekly, I give myself a month to decide if this is really working for me or if it's too much. For monthly tasks, I'll give it the three-strikes-you're-out timetable, etc.

Rule #7: Because I have to have some kind of discipline — or else, for example, drinking eight glasses of water a day will quickly dwindle to six...and then four...and then two...and then none — I will be keeping a daily log here. I don't want to punish myself by taking away an activity, a food or something else I enjoy, because again, I don't think that's the point of this experiment. But laying it all out here for you guys — even if it's just five simple things as outlined above — should keep me honest. (I had written another whole post one day about how I want to do a "What I Ate Today" column like in OK magazine, but the post turned out to be completely pointless — so maybe I can work that idea, of keeping a food journal but making it more interesting, into part of the project.)

So that's all I've got for now. Hopefully I'm not overlooking anything obvious or making this too complicated. I'm going to hit PUBLISH before I think of anything else!

Rule #1

So the only rule for my experiment I've thought of so far is pretty logical, and it is as follows:

#1. Nothing recommended or advised will inadvertently cause me to go over budget for the month, unless said recommendation or advice falls under the category of Health/Fitness and going over my Health/Fitness category budget will not cause me to go over my entire monthly budget for said month.

In other words, I can get my new inhaler at Target after the allergist writes me a scrip even if it's $70 and will cause me to go over my Health/Fitness budget, as long as it doesn't cause me to go over my entire month's budget, in which case I'm probably near the end of the month and can wait a few days to get it anyways. (I haven't used an inhaler in years, but I carry one just in case.)

I think that's reasonable because sticking to my budget is probably one of the things I'll end up working on anyways, and it's very like me to a) run out and get something the second I run out, even if it's not urgent, but at the same time, b) it allows a little wiggle room for my own health and well-being, which is, in the end, what this is all about.

I haven't come up with much more, yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to need to put a cap on how many pieces of advice I follow in a day/hour/weekend or something. I mean, I like to curl up for a few minutes at night with a good mag, and on any given page you might run across "add carrots and celery," "meditate for 15 minutes a day" and "take a walk on your lunch break," which is a pretty random smattering of tips. Add carrots and celery to my next meal? The next time I go shopping I should pick some up? Meditate during the baby's next nap? On Sunday? You see what I mean. I don't want this to be overwhelming, but I don't want to put things off, either, which is ultimately what I do now.

I may need to seriously disconnect myself from the internet during this period (unless I'm taking Gretchen's advice and just blogging every day). I haven't heard anyone say "spend more time checking email and reading useless tweets."

So that's Rule #1. Nothing I do can cause me to go over budget. It's a start. Yay!

Experiment

So, I've had this idea running around in my head for a while now...

Did y'all hear about that lady who, for a year, did everything that Oprah said? (I know, a little limited in her field of vision, right?) It was already a few years ago I think, and I'm not sure what the ground rules were, but I believe it went something like this: If Oprah recommended a face cream, she bought it. If she recommended a particular style of jean, this woman wore nothing but that cut. If Oprah encouraged her audience to volunteer at a soup kitchen on the weekends, she made time each week and did what O commanded. (You can read about the book here; I'm totally going to get it.)

Well, you could accuse me of being a copycat, but my idea has always been this: For one year, really and truly follow all of the advice that you pick up reading magazines, watching television segments, talking to your mom, at the checkup with your doctor. Be all eyes and ears, turning over every new leaf rather than just cherry picking the tips and tricks that you think you need to work on. Come what may. You are clay in the hands of the potter.

Interesting concept, right?

Now, there are a lot of ways to look at this, of course, and obviously I'd have to set some ground rules myself. Some people, for example, probably DO do what their doctors say (God bless you, one and all), probably DO call their mothers before making a beef stew and probably do run out and buy a pair of ankle booties when they're all the rage in the latest InStyle. But if you're anything like me, most of that actually is probably just taken with a grain of salt. (Except maybe for the doctor's advice. I know. I really should do what they say.)

Another issue to throw in the mix is spontaneity. I mean, what if I don't want to order the "Eat This" option? What if I want "Not That"? I think I've told you before that I used to not buy any body wash, face cream, sunscreen, etc, if it wasn't recommended to me by something (The Today Show) or someone (my sister). But since the baby, I haven't had time to rip out articles, write stuff down, take a list, look for deals. When I need to exfoliate, I grab something all-natural, a trusted brand or whatever is on sale. And it's been kinda nice. I found this great new body scrub with pomegranate, a yummy pineapple cleanser and some delicious chocolate almond butter along the way.

But you know what? I wonder if the body wash is really a "green" product, even though the brand boasts its natural exfoliating agents. And the pineapple cleanser, although lovely, is really more of a summer product in my book, not suitable to fall's cooler temperatures and the need for more warm, inviting scents. Last but not least, alas, the almond butter has traces of peanuts in it I just noticed today. I'm freaking allergic!

Another problem: Will I lose all original thought? Will I become a washed-up, spineless, pansy follower rather than the leading authority on health and wellness in the family, or will this project actually lead me to some grand realization, some huge money-saving tips, more family time, me time and a deeper spiritual connection?

I guess it all depends on who I'm watching, listening to and taking advice from, doesn't it. I don't want to hear someone say "Sometimes you just have to set your ego aside" (How I Met Your Mother) and start rapidly thinking, Okay, how do I set my ego aside? Today at work? Right now? Should I call someone? Do I owe someone an apology? Do I need to just go grocery shopping? Should I make steak or fish? What would the hubby want? Wait, what does this have to do with the ego and my experiment?

I don't know. Maybe I could use some people to tell me what to do. Having taken a friend's advice (everyone's, really, but this one took) to help the baby sleep better, now I'm in heaven. And if I started following my allergist's advice and completely cut out everything with even traces of soy, peanuts, peas, walnuts and corn in it, I bet my omnipresent stomach ache would go away. God knows if I followed all the advice in Self and Shape I'd be the healthiest gal this side of the Mississippi.

Which takes us back to the ground rules.

Obviously, I'm not going to just watch Oprah, especially since it's her last season (thank God for that). I'm also not going to go out and buy every magazine on the shelf, watch TV for hours or call my brother-in-law before forking over $5 for every pack of batteries I buy for the next 365 days.

So what will I do? When will I start? (Is this a stupid idea?) What are my goals? To create a healthier me? A happier me? (Will one lead to the other?) How many hours a week will I really have to devote to scrubbing the tub, trying on pants and washing the windows? Whose advice, exactly, will I follow? The first thing that pops up when I Google "how often should I wax the floors"? Do I follow current advice only? Old wives' tales? What about conflicting advice?

I'm still nursing, so I think at the very least I have a month to figure this all out. I don't want anything food-related to create any issues (although the bottom line will probably mean eating healthier, which would also probably lead to an increase in milk supply), and I definitely need some more time to think about this. Can I really do it? For a whole year? Do I really want to do it? Thinking about it now is actually kind of making me feel rather nauseated. But that's how I get sometimes when facing a challenge (that is, if my lips and hands don't go numb and I'm still breathing).

Anyways. If anyone is still listening, I'll keep you posted. One piece of advice that's stuck with me is that if you have a blog, you must post every day (per Gretchen Rubin) — so really, you may be hearing a lot more from me. I may even end up following YOUR advice and writing my own book about it — "My Year of Unoriginal Thoughts," or something a bit more catchy, more relevant.

I see the irony and impossibility in all of this. Really, I do. If I seriously wanted to eat a Mediterranean diet or learn how to play the guitar, wouldn't I be doing it already? Not so fast. New Years resolutions do exist for a reason, after all. So should I be looking way ahead, to January 1? I don't know about that. Everyone's usually hung over and a little lackluster when it comes to revving up the workouts right away. But that's an idea. Stay tuned if you want to see how it all plays out.