Title? What Title?

Had no idea what to title this post, so there you have it.

I'm back! Sort of. Just felt like I had a lot to get off my chest today. Yes, I had a baby, another boy, and he is currently enjoying all sorts of hangy things fabricated by Baby Einstein for exactly this purpose: to entertain Baby so that Mommy can write. And call the dentist, and the school, and maybe even make an iced coffee (although that might wake up Big Brother). We are so blessed to have another healthy child.

I've been catching up on a lot of other blogs lately (Danielle LaPorte and Jen Louden, to name a couple) and I've decided, at least for now, I may have a similar style of off-the-cuff quick posts rather than long, polished tomes. Because let's face it, do I have time to polish anything these days? (My toes are on the list for today, don't worry.)

So here is today's rant: I feel like my grocery bills are still out of control. We live one block from Jewel, which lots of people I know think is expensive (God forbid I mention Peapod and the occasional trip to Whole Foods for toothpaste, kitchen sponges and whatever organic produce/meat is on sale). Suffice it to say, I end up there a lot for last-minute trips and on-the-way-home-we-need-bread-oh-and-ice-cream-oh-and-drinks sorts of trips. Problem number one.

My husband, gotta love him, dislikes Trader Joe's, which I'd favor, because he thinks things spoil from there too quickly and we always end up tossing things like cheese and meat for fear it's already gone south. Problem number two.

Aldi...Aldi scares me, frankly. Too many frankenfoods on the shelves, which brings me to the real point of this post: I wish, sometimes, that I didn't know all I know about food. If I could take a Kraft magazine to the store and buy a bottle of salad dressing and take some conventional chicken breasts home for dinner and create some sort of amazingly simple and delicious "healthy" meal, I would — but bottled dressings, powdered seasoning packets and questionable poultry aren't healthy to me. Not to sound snooty, and I probably do. Should that sound healthy to me? Should it be my way of life, since I always feel like I spend too much on food otherwise? It's not like I can't pay my bills, but it's like the cable bill...it always arrives, and I'm like, We spend WHAT on television? It's highway robbery when all that's ever on is Jungle Junction and Blu-rays. I just spent WHAT on some wine, beer, cocoa and fish? It's, pardon the pun, hard to swallow. If God is whispering the hints in my ears about what to do — something drastic or nothing at all — I must not be able to hear very well. And it all comes down to time, too...I just don't feel like I can invest much time cooking these days while I'm trying to manage a newborn. I know you can do real food on a budget...but on a time budget, too, that just depresses me. I feel inadequate.

Not exactly the most flowery, optimistic post for my first one back! But it's like this...we have two kids now. Two hungry boys, one who needs formula (surprise, surprise) and one who suddenly likes hot dogs (which make me violently ill now that I have gallbladder issues — yes, there's that, too). Two boys who are going to need a nanny in two and a half weeks unless we receive an anonymous windfall (email me if you want my mailing address, heh heh). I'm worrying about money again, and when I worry about money, I inevitably worry about food, which in turn becomes worrying about health.

None of this worrying can be good for me, I know.

So tonight, I think we'll eat out. A little counterintuitive? Yes. But a much-needed escape from this endless loop in my head.

It's good to be back!